I've graduated (finally) with my master's degree, taken up a full time job, drooled over Kenny again, kicked my own but racing just a touch, traveled internationally, fallen into and out of what I thought was love, and learned to bite my tongue as the tall fry drives away on her own four wheels. And of course another round of nutcracker has almost completed as we wrap and stack presents under the tree. Is it really time to turn forty and for the year to end?
Say it is so! I'm so excited, not even an all out verbal assault on my character (sadly true, it occurred) can dull the lightness I feel. Silly mean people, life is so amazing.
When I look back upon what I've been graced to share in as well...everyone, well most everyone seems to be blooming. My heart and love goes out to others who are working through heavier times as I type and you read. Life is full of hills and valleys, you can only take one step...each at a time.
The biggest strugglesI've watched are those struggling to adapt into new life experiences, when old habits don't work any more and stubborn gets in the way. It's so hard to watch and cheer, know when is just the time to be honest/quiet/quick/graceful just if only to help a bit. We all have to get though this life, however many days it holds for us....
The things I've missed again this year is that darn NMSU swimming pool. Cursed that glorious spot tucked away behind a wall that holds so many memories for me. As a child I gasped for air and browned my bum trying to keep up with my brother and cousins. As a teen, boy did I think I was hot stuff strutting around in very little. As a young mother after death, violence, and with a chance of a brand new start the redone pool is where I again believed to find hope that somehow my heart would repair to working again. And it did, at least I learned to reignite my passion for feeling capable and strong in my body again. And simultaneously my glorious girls learned how to find their own strength and confidence in their physicality. Such wonderful times! I also met quite a few men I'll probably always savor from a hidden quick side ways glance when I think no one will spot me. The three M and M's, I still refer of them to a select few. They still embody whom I like to find someday. Someday. Ah, I swoon... ;)
Also running throughout A mountain territory, gosh that's something else I surely miss. I never took either for granted, oh but I miss them soo. Such great memories!
So as I look forward, what I want to continue to rebuild a sureness in and of my body. The mind should calm and hopefully follow inline as I trek down new pathways through brightly opened doors. I'm excited for 40! I can't wait to start the new adventure! I hope to really find love, kick many more butts as a continue to race, and live blessed very day that I am given. Thank you, lord. I owe you more than I can ever repay.
Cheers to all and to all I wish a knowing "you are loved" life.
Momma Dee
